Even Britney is Doing it

There must be something in the Sacramento area water because everyone in my Liberal Studies program is pregnant. The pregnant epidemic seems to be spreading even faster than typhoid. In such a female dominated major, it is understandable that the probability of classmates in my major becoming pregnant is much higher than the typically evenly distributed more common majors such as Business or Communications. A typical Monday morning for me is to walk into class and a classmate will triumphantly announce… “Everyone, I’m pregnant!” or “We were walking downtown by the river and he suddenly dropped to one knee and now I’m getting Maaaaaarried!” After the sixth declaration this semester, I believe that it is safe to say the novelty is definitely wearing off.

In my art class, which has the greatest number of preggies, my professor has appeared to have excused all pregnant women from the majority of the art activities. At the beginning of our art activity this week she said, “Will each student please spray paint their sculptures outside so that the pregnant woman don’t get affected.” Umm...last time I checked chemicals affect non-pregnant people too. Or my all time favorite, “The pregnant students don’t have to do the paper machete projects because the goop might make them nauseated.” The one time our teacher talked to me was to solely ask me what the update on a fellow student’s amniocentesis test went. I have decided that there is only one way to guarantee me my “A” in this class…I must fake a pregnancy. Does anyone own a Pregnant suit?

Written While Listening to "Cause=Time" by Broken Social Scene