Lesson One on How to be a Hippie

On my way to my Ruhi Study Circle class, I parked my car near the host’s house I noticed a lone object in the street caught my eye. A four drawer deep mahogany dresser lay on the corner with a single spotlight shining down upon it through the overcast, hazy sky. The hippie gods were casting a light onto this piece of “trash” calling the inner-hippie inside of me to pull my car around and take this dresser. I waited to investigate further into this mysterious dresser on the street, but upon leaving the Ruhi class I noticed it was still there. I mustered up some courage, pulled my car around and threw that dresser in my trunk. Tonight marks my first solo trip of dumpster diving.

My Aunt Juliet owns a book called The Hippie Handbook. I remember glancing over it a few years back and took notes on the proper etiquette of dumpster diving. I have included these rules:

1.Identify your target neighborhood. Concentrate on areas where young people rent. Stay away from wealthy neighborhoods. It is a surprising fact that rich people do not throw good stuff away. They give their trash to charity and deduct it on their tax returns.

2. Determine when trash is in your target neighborhood (by observation or calling the city).

3.The night before trash day (“Trash Eve”) drive your VW bus slowly through your target neighborhood.

4. When you spot a dumpster or trash pile that is teeming with bounty, approach is cautiously. (Do not get in the dumpster. Dumpsters can be very dangerous and also dirty.)Bring a footstool so that you can get a good vantage point for sifting. Stay away from clothing, sealed trash bags, and diapers.

5. When you see something you like, carefully free it from the dumpster and load it in the back of your bus.

6.Continue cruising and repeat.

Written While Listening to “Speed of Sound” by Coldplay