Another Day at the Happiest Place on Earth

Another Day at the Happiest Place on Earth
Originally uploaded by mayshelley.

A Hippopotamus + A Rabbit = A Hip-Hop

Giraleffant
Originally uploaded by mayshelley.

You are probably saying to yourself, "If May talks about Napoleon Dynamite one more time I"m going to immediately remove this website from my favorites website folder (which May magically placed this website in) and re-evaluate my friendship with her." Then I remembered that this is my blog and I'm going to write about whatever I darn feel like writing about.

So here I go....for the past two days I have been substituting at the Alternative-Ed High School that I work at during the summers. The group of students in the class I worked in this week is one of the best groups I've had within the four years. Today I was working with a group of students on Math and somehow we got off topic and I was explaining to them that a Liger is a real animal. The math lesson turned into a Science lesson about cross-breeding of various species. After a few minutes of discussion, the students got on-task and continued with their Math work. In the corner of my eye, I noticed one of my students drawing something instead of doing his math work. The photo on this blog is a picture from my camera phone of his drawing. (Don't worry I have his permission to post it) He thought it would be really awesome if a Giraffe and an Elephant mated, hence the "Giraleffant." What can I say, my students are creatively gifted!

Written While Listening to "First Thing Tomorrow" by Kelsey Bulkin

Slave to the Bean

Disneyland coffee
Originally uploaded by mayshelley.

I'm at home this week for my spring break. Note that spring break isn't capitalized or emphasized a lot like a frat boy on the beaches of Cancun might say it (SPRING BREAK 2005!! WOO HOO). My spring break consists of watching tivo'ed shows, kickin it with the parentals, and checking my e-mail 200 times a day instead of the normal fifty. Yesterday morning I was surprised to come downstairs to find the world's greatest cup of coffee brewing (thanks Dad) and my twin sister's Disneyland pass waiting on the counter. So off to Disneyland I went. I was surprised to find out that my whole family, cousins and all, were at Disneyland that day for Naw Ruz. It seems that the whole Fam-Damily was planning this trip and unknowingly left me out of the loop until that morning.
My family loves discounts. This may come from having so many family members, that one learns to take advantage of any type of discount or loophole. It's not surprising to hear my Grandpa rattle off the list of discounts at any department store: AAA, seniors discount, Diner's Club of America, etc. Leave it to my Gramps to find Disneyland's one loophole. For $2.39 (perhaps Disneyland's cheapest item in the park) you can buy a regular sized coffee with free refills. When you want a coffee refill, you simply take your used coffee cup and the food service "Cast members" will exchange it for a new cup of fresh coffee. A few years back I noticed as we were entering the park, my Grandpa pulled out an empty Disneyland coffee cup from his Jacket pocket. He then explained to me that this was a cup he saved from his previous visit and was going to redeem the old cup for a new cup of coffee. When my Grandpa went to get his coffee and handed him the old cup, the "cast member" was confused because that was an old cup's design and Disneyland hadn't served that cup for over six months. Thankfully they still gave him a fresh cup of coffee in the newly designed cup. So yesterday, being the poor college student that I am, I was aching for a cup o Joe. While I was walking by an empty table, as if the coffee gods were shining a lone spotlight to show me the way to a coffee addicts salvation, an empty coffee cup sat there upon the table, taunting me "take me, I'm free." I looked around, made sure the coast was clear, and swooped up the empty coffee cup and redeemed it for a tasty, free cup of coffee. Is this considered stealing? Has my coffee addiction (yes, my friends I am admitting it) led me to cheat Disneyland out of $2.39 just so I can supply a constant IV drip of coffee to my veins?

Written While Listening to "There is a Light That Never Goes Out" by The Smiths

Doogie was the Original Blogger

doogie howser
Originally uploaded by mayshelley.

In the spirit of 2005 being the year of the Sweepstakes and the Blog, my favorite Aunt Juliet has been hooking me up with the 411 on the latest sweepstakes. This weeks sweepstakes, Doogie Howser the Lost Years, especially caught my attention. The contest is to submit a "Doogie like" blog entry in order to win tickets to the 2005 Emmy awards. As many of you know, one of my very few claims to fame is that my mom's first cousin is Wanda (Lisa Dean Ryan) from the t.v. show Doogie Howser M.D. Like all sweepstakes I enter, I checked the contest rules very closely; am I excluded because Wanda is my second cousin once removed? Blog away "Doogie style" my friends!! and if you win...you know who to bring.

Written While Listening to "The Legionnaire's Lement" by The Decemberists

Aggie for Life

For the past two and half years I have lived in the wonderful city of Davis, California while attending Sacramento State. Most of my days consist of studying and spending the majority of my time on the Davis campus and surrounding areas. One can often find me at Shields library, Mishka’s (the local UCDavis Coffee shop), or mooching swipes from the “Dormies”; I am even the Secretary of the UCDavis Baha’i club. Because I have a strong presence on the Davis campus and community, people are usually surprised when I tell them that I don’t even attend UCDavis. Well Ladies and Gentleman, as of today it is official….Next year I will be a UCDavis Aggie! Today I received my acceptance letter to the UCDavis Masters/ Credential program! Davis….Here I Stay!

Written While Listening to “Everything in Its Right Place” by Radiohead

Oh What Fun It is to Ride

In fifth grade- a very crucial time in every pre-adolescent’s life- I came across one of the most embarrassing moments of my childhood. While I was riding my bike to school, just as I did every morning, I cruised by the junior high school checking out the older seventh grade hunnies. Suddenly my front tire skimmed the freakishly awkward cut Long Beach grass and lost control of my bike, inevitably running into a parked car. As the crowds began to gather around (and the nurse brought out the stretcher and wheelchair) I had decided that boys were a bad distraction. Apparently, that life lesson only lasted a good two weeks before I completely forgot about it. Although I was not badly injured, I still have a permanent scar on both my left shin and my ego.
Shout out to Tati for sending me an article on sibling horses (Rusty and Becky) in Newfoundland that went on a wild rampage and smashed their sleigh into two cars, causing permanent damage. The article suggests that Rusty and Becky went on this car “slaying” spree because they were frustrated by a car’s exhaust fumes they were forced to breathe in; I found my accident lacking a good excuse. Life Lesson for the day: Boys and exhaust fumes only lead to horrible accidents involving parked cars.

Written While Listening to “Pressure Point” by The Zutons.

"This is the Night, Free Until the Morning Night"

Back in the day when I was a counselor at Bosch Baha’i School for Youth Week one summer, I met the famous “Slim Whodi.” This year Negin was trying to explain to me who “Slim Whodi” was and I couldn’t put a face to his name, but thanks to this video he sent me….it’s all coming back (Be sure to pump up the Volume).

Written While Listening to "Falling Away With You" by Muse

I Shall Start a Child Walking Service...Parents, Please Provide your own Leashes

Full Body Harness Leash
Originally uploaded by mayshelley.

Today is my dog Annie's eleventh birthday, which reminds me of one of my personal pet peeves; kids who are forced to wear full body harnesses. No, I am not referring to rock climbing equipment rather a dog like leash that parents strap on their kid's wrist, or belt onto their chest. Living within twenty minutes of Disneyland (the happiest place on earth for all children besides those in full body harnesses), I have witnessed this cruelty to young children far too many times.
A story that best explains my views on the issue is one of my sister Amy's coworker who wants to name his kids Freedom and Justice. When Freedom and Justice ripen to the age of walking he will strap on the kids full body harness leashes. Every time Freedom and Justice would try running away, he would whip their leashes back and yell out loudly for all to hear "Freedom, Justice come back here!"
I propose that we put an end to this child cruelty and ban on all Full-Body Harness Leashes. Instead I suggest taking an old beer (or Odouls) can filled with pennies and every time the child wants to run away or misbehaves, you shake the can incessantly in their ear until they have settled down.

Written While Listening to "Repilia" by The Strokes

Dawn is My Homegirl

I’m sure everyone knows of a few friends that are obsessed with Napoleon Dynamite to the point where they relentlessly quote it beyond sanity. Most of these friends that you have in mind are most likely between the ages of 13-19. By far, the biggest Napoleon Dynamite fan I know is the person responsible for bringing me into this world, our very own “Dawnkey.” I often find my mom quoting ND in everyday lingo. For example, When I was home from break I called up my mom and asked her what was for dinner and she continues to tell me to “make myself a dang que-sa-dilla” and then chuckles for a solid two minutes, quietly repeating the quote. My mom even went as far as going to one of the two forbidden stores in the mall, Hot Topic. For those of you who don’t know what Hot Topic is….it’s basically the Claire’s Accessories for the quasi-gothic and punk junior high aged kids. They sell “accessories” such as lava lamps, tacky Evanescence and Sum 41 posters, Anime shirts, “intimate toys”, and the largest known collection of Napoleon Dynamite paraphernalia. My mom’s current collection includes: buttons, two shirts, happy hands and many more. My mom is the most legit ND fan ever.
So when I received two ND e-mail forwards within 15 minutes today, I thought it only appropriate to dedicate today’s blog to my wonderful sophisticated highly intelligent Napoleon Dynamite loving mother. Dawn here’s to you!
Napoleon Dynamite Top Ten Clip (thanks Tati)
Which Napoleon Dynamite Character are you?

Written While Listening to "Chocolate" by Snow Patrol

Do you Smell What Maryam's 'New Friend' is Cooking?

This time of year can be a lot of fun but also a lot of pressure. From February 26- March 1st, Baha’is celebrate Ayyam-i-Ha, or the intercalary days, which are four days of celebration, charity and gift giving. My extended family, the Diliberto clan has a huge party/ gift exchange down in Southern California.
You are probably asking, where’s the pressure in that? Well, with such a large family it can be tough bringing around a new significant other….there are a lot of people in my family, and although we are very accepting and embracing there’s around thirty-six people to impress.
My sister, Maryam brought a “special friend” this year to Ayyam-i-Ha. Some of the relatives were initially put off by his intimidating looks and his borderline inappropriate dress, but by the end of the night he was really starting to fit in. He helped cook some of the food, played in the foos ball tournament, allowed Amy and Maryam to give him a makeover….we grew to love and embrace our new friend. It was overall a very successful weekend. I have included some pictures of this weekend for all of those curious folk wondering who Maryam’s new feller is.

Written While Listening to “Be Kind + Remind” by Rogue Wave

It's Only My Favorite Animal Ever

Reno, Nevada is best known for being “the biggest little city in the world.” I don’t exactly understand what that means, but what I do understand is that it is the home of an actual real life “Liger” named Hobbs. I know…. I didn’t believe it either. Thanks to my school friend Lindsey, best known for voting the majority of my class off the island for math class survivor, and confirmed by “Last Action Hero,” Jon Johnson, this crucial life changing information is true. A Liger isn’t just a fictional animal from Napoleon Dynamite. For those of you who are not brushed up with their Napoleon Dynamiteness: 1. Why aren’t you? GOSH! 2. A Liger is a mix between a male lion and a female tiger.
A new quest, rather pilgrimage has now been created…I shall drive the 158.84 miles from my house in Davis, California and brave the Sierra pass to Reno, Nevada to see Hobbs, the real life Liger.

Written While listening to "Sleeping In" by The Postal Service

Just coz im from the O.Cizzle doesnt mizzle i ciznant be a playa

For the first 12 years of my life, I was born and raised in the LBC. Much like the Fresh Prince had to leave Philly and move to Bel Air, we eventually left Long Beach and went south to “the OC.” I attribute my lack of knowledge of rap and gang warfare greatly to my parents uprooting us before I had to make the crucial decision of whether I was going to join the bloods or the crips. But, thanks to my friends at google, I can now get in touch with my gangsta roots at www.gizoogle.com Gizoogle provides us suburban folk with ebonic translations, such as Barney’s theme song:
“I love you you love me we're a stoked family witta bootylicious big hug n a kiss fizzy me ta you fo gettin yo pimp on. won't you say you love me too”
There is even an image section where if you type in “Passion of the Christ” you will get a picture of Snoop Dog wearing a crown of thorns with Snoop’s movie title “The Pazzle of the Crizzle” Enjoy my friends. Let tha procrastinizzle continue.

Written while saggin' ta "Regulator" by my ol neighbs Warren G

C.E.R.A.B.S "Coalition for Equal Rights Amongst Bocthie Speakers"

As all three devoted readers of this blog already know, I am a twin. My twin, Amy and I, have a very special bond, a bond unique and very different than any other relationship. As “wombmates”, we go through very “special” experiences that you, non-twin folk will never understand. I am very fortunate to have a fellow twinner in two of my classes this semester. Although, she appears to be more attached to her genetic clone than I, we have enjoyed talkin shop about being twins.
Amy and I were very brilliant for our age. We were so collectively innovative that Amy and I believed that the English language was beneath us and so we created our own language, “Botchie,” which was also the name given to our beloved Cabbage Patch Kids. Much like the movie Nell, starring Jodie Foster and Liam Neeson, from ages 2 to around age 5, we solely spoke “Botchie.” My older brother Randall, who was bilingual in both English and Botchie had to translate for my Dad, while my Mom knew some key Botchie phrases like: “Itcha dinka tcho noke getta Chig Oootan.” Roughly translated to English is: “Please eat the rest of your dinner or you won’t get a Fig Newton for dessert”
I guess what I’m getting at is that I have looked up the various languages that the United Nations recognizes and I’m sorry to say folks, but to my surprise too, Botchie was not recognized as a World language. Some may argue that Botchie is a dead or ancient language, but so is Latin, yet they still teach Latin in the schools. As a true English Language Learner from Botchie to English, I am spearheading this coalition and am searching the globe for at least…..four people to join me! Are you with us or against us?!?!?!

Written while Listening to "Darts of Pleasure" by Franz Ferdinand

"Over the River and Through the Woods"

"Over the River and Through the Woods"
Originally uploaded by mayshelley.

I have a few hidden talents that very few people know about...I can amazingly create a perfect mental map of any city I've ever been to and like a knitting sweatshop, I can produce knitted booties with the snap of the fingers....but I have also dabbled in 35mm black and white photography. I just bought a scanner on clearance this week and have started to scan my photo portfolio onto my computer. Here's a shot I took a year ago at my "g-ma's"

The Stars at Night are Big and Bright

Call me a dreamer, call me crazy, call me pathetic. But in one month from today, you will be calling me “the lucky gal who became rich by winning a sweepstakes.” For the last 48 days, or 1152 hours you have most likely heard me relentlessly talk about how I’m moving to Tyler, Texas because I’m going to win the HGTV.com Dream Home sweepstakes. Well today marks the last day to enter the sweepstakes, which means I’m 28 days, 592 hours or 35,520 minutes away from the producers knocking at my front door with a check for $250,000, keys to a Denali, and a house worth 1.5 million dollars. Tyler, Texas….HERE I COME!

Written while listening to Pink Bullets by The Shins

I Object! On the grounds that the prosecution has provided misleading information!

Besides the minor incident of me having to go to court to convince the Orange County Court System to drop one of my three speeding tickets within a year span, there aren’t too many reasons for me to willingly hang out in a closed room of future lawyers. Within the past few days I’ve noticed posters around campus advertising the pre-law clubs informational session with free Woodstock’s Pizza. The only thing greater than my loathing of argumentative people is my love for free things, so last night I dressed up in my most intelligent looking outfit and even wore non-prescription glasses and made the one block trek to campus in the rain with a goal of getting a free dinner. When we arrived we circumnavigated the room to check out how many people showed up and more importantly how much free pizza the pre-law peeps forked out for this event. As I peaked through a window I was astonished to find only one empty box of pizza. Granted we were 3 minutes late, but still! If you are going to advertise a free dinner….darn it...you better have enough free dinner even for the people who are willing to sit through an hour long informational meeting. So what did I learn from all of this? That tonight I better arrive early to the free ice cream pre-med informational meeting.

Written while listening to Homesick by Kings of Convenience

It should just be called "S.A.D"

On this glorious day of St. Valentine, I appropriately start my very first blog entry. As I was walking to class on this muggy morning, cruising along while listening to my ipod, I couldn't help but notice the couples around me holding hands, with their coordinating pink and red outfits mocking my single existence....I couldn't help be reminded of my current state of singlehood. Don't get me wrong...I love my singleness, or at least pretend to. So...i started to brainstorm for alternative Valentine's Day names and I came up with these....
1. "Single Appreciation Day"....after thinking about this name, i immediately threw it out. Single's are NOT appreciated at all on this day, even Hallmark doesn't recognize singlehood on Feb. 14. You can never find a "thinking about you my platonic single friend" card.
2. "Single Depreciation Day"....this one made a little more sense to me. Year after year.... my depreciation is slowly going down. This holiday marks one more year of me losing my value.
3. "Single Awareness Day" Perfect! That's exactly what this is....February 14th isn't about being in love...it's a reminder to all of those who are not in love that they are alone.
So from this day forth, February 14th shall not be referred to as St. Valentine's Day, rather Happy Single Awareness Day!

While listening to L-O-V-E by Al Green